Tag: parenting

Planting Seeds

On By reneemarie31In Positive ThinkingLeave a comment

A year or so ago, I printed out the following quote and hung it above my desk at work.

This is a necessary reminder for me. You see, I have the tendency to allow small successes or failures to dictate my mood for the day. I am a school counselor. My days are unpredictable, and of course, some are better than others.

Some days I get that compliment from a parent or I see a change in that student, and I think to myself, “wow, I am doing a good job!”

But then the opposite is also true. Students don’t listen to me, a parent gets angry, and my mood goes south. My self-talk starts to look like, “maybe i should find a different career. I’m no good at this.”

I have to consciously remind myself to look at the big picture. Especially when it comes to children, we may not always see the influence we have. Today it may seem that little Johnny just doesn’t get the truths I’m trying to teach such as the importance of treating others with respect or that we as individuals control how we react to a situation. But the reality is that I am planting seeds. Eventually the cumulative effect of all the things his teachers, parents, and others have taught him will start to bloom.

And so, I keep that reminder above my desk. So that in the moments of frustration, I can remember – I am planting seeds!

Patience is a Virtue

On By reneemarie31In Family LifeLeave a comment

Patience.  A simple virtue that I wish I could practice evenly in all areas of my life.  Compared to many people, I am pretty patient when it comes to everyday inconveniences.  I can usually handle traffic delays, slow service in a restaurant, or a long line at the store.  Where I find my patience most often wearing thin is with the people I love the most – my daughter and husband.

Why is that it is easier to be kind towards strangers and acquaintances than to our own families?  My theory is that it is because it is less risky. We know that the people we love will forgive us time and again for yelling at them in anger, whereas a co-worker or other acquaintance may not.

I know it shouldn’t be this way.  I shouldn’t snap at my family for the slightest inconvenience.  I know this intellectually, but I still find it difficult to put into place.  

I came across this quote.  Is that the answer? Fake it until you make it?  It is certainly better than showing your frustration, especially in a parenting situation.  But ideally, I would like to not only sound calm, but actually be calm.

One of our jobs as a parent is to help teach our children how to regulate their emotions.  We do this through example. It is imperative that I learn to be patient, so that I can pass that skill onto my daughter.  It is so much easier to have the skill naturally, than to be a grown woman trying to cultivate it.

Patience with my family is a skill that I must practice.  I want to live in a calm and loving home, and I need to do my part to make sure that happens.  Sometimes my husband has to remind me that I’m overreacting in a parenting situation. Other times, I’m overreacting towards him and my daughter is the one to notice the tension and remind me to be kind.

What do you do to remind yourself to be patient with your loved ones?